Chapter 1 — Before Attraction Deceived Me

Before Christ, I thought attraction was discernment I thought a flutter in my stomach meant destiny. I believed chemistry meant connection,and that desire meant compatibility. But attraction is a loud voice,and sometimes it drowns out the whisper of God.
Before Christ, I was easily swayed by what I could see:a handsome face,a confident walk,a charming tone,a
sweet smile that felt safe,a perfume that made me forget to ask the right questions.
The devil knows the power of packaging.He knows how to wrap danger in beautyand disguise broken men and women as “the one.”He knows how to create sparks that have nothing to do with covenantand everything to do with distraction.
I didn’t know then that attraction without discernment is a trap.A spiritual ambush.A shortcut to heartbreak.
But after Christ—after He opened my eyes,after He healed the version of me that always reached for what
looked goodinstead of what carried Him—something shifted.
God began teaching me that true attraction starts in the spirit, not the senses.
He showed me that height doesn’t hold a home together.A symmetrical face can’t lead a family in prayer.A
strong jawline can’t cover you spiritually.A deep voice can’t cast out generational curses.
He taught me that character is the real attraction.Who a person is when no one is watching.What they
fear.What they obey.What they refuse to compromise.What they value when temptation is loud.
After Christ, I found myself drawn to a different kind of beauty—the beauty of a man who opens his Bible,not just his mouth.A man who can lead with gentleness,not ego.A man whose strength shows up in consistency,not control.A man who serves with compassion,not performance.
Butterflies no longer come from compliments—they come from seeing a man pray.Stability is more attractive than muscles.Kindness more magnetic than appearance.Purpose more beautiful than charm.
This is maturity:when your spirit blushes before your body does.When leadership makes your heart
steady.When a man talking about God makes you feel seen,safe,and aligned.
Attraction became deeper when I realized that the man God chooses for menmust be able to carry what God is forming in me.And it is the same for you.
Your calling needs someone who won’t fear it.Your purpose needs someone who can partner with it.Your heart needs someone who understands covenant,not convenience.
This is why God takes His time.This is why He protects His children from rushing into what looks good but
cannot sustain them.
Before Christ, attraction deceived me.After Christ, attraction matured me.Now I desire what heaven approves, not what flesh applauds.
Because the right partner is not chosen by the eyes. They are revealed by God.

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